1. It looks like Obamacare is going to be struck down. *tear*
2. Our country's health care system continues to be a hot mess.
3. Constitutional questions aside, what's disconcerting about the ruling is that it's not very narrow: it seems (from predictions, anyway) to eliminate any question of a mandate, which eliminates functionally protecting people with pre-existing conditions, which means the whole system continues to be fucked.
4. People with health care will continue to foot the bill for people without it.
5. More and more, the incentive seems to be not to get health care at all and take the free ride loophole. While it's unethical, it's basically the only way if you make working class income or not.
6. This whole stupid system has to collapse. Along with the rest of our idiotic current system.
7. Everyone is jumping to blame someone else for that.
8. Europe's looking nice this time of year.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
SXSW: The Highlights
What a week.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the annual HOLYFUCK-a-thon that is SXSW, I'm going to do my best to describe it before plunging into my list of my top 11 highlights from the festival (one per day of craziness + a bonus because I just flat ran out of things to cut).
For 10 days, the sleepy little villa of Austin Texas is utterly overwhelmed by an insane conflagration centered on the infamous Sixth Street but extending in every direction into every bar, movie theatre, convention center, park, and restaurant in the city. Basically, the city throws three enormous festivals simultaneously: a top rate film festival that draws hundreds of Hollywood celebrities and premieres dozens of movies, an interactive business conference/festival that is renowned for debuting twitter three years ago, and what has to be the world's largest music festival, with more than 2,000 official performing acts, most of whom play seven or eight shows over the course of the week.
Did I mention that you can attend virtually everything at the festival for free if you know your way around? And that every event is chock full of free drinks, ranging from Texas's ubiquitous Lone Star to fully stocked open bars? And that half the events double up on the free drinks with buffet lines of free food, ranging from simple fare like tacos and ice cream all the way up to full 5 star buffets?
And did I mention that I took the entire week off from work, secured a film badge, and basically spent every hour of all ten days at the festival?
The highlights follow.
#11 The Intersteller Transmissions Bus
My honorable mention, since I never quite ended up on the bus. It was still a nice reminder of the Austin flavor to the festival. One of my favorite bands in town, Intersteller Transmissions, sets up their band on top of a white bus and drives around the city playing music and inviting anyone who'll fit onto the bus. I never hitched a ride (this time), but they brought a smile to my face every time I saw them drive by.
#10 21 Jump Street
A film that turned out way better than I expected. I saw 20 films over the course of the festival, and most of them could be on the list (and several more will follow. 21 Jump Street stood out, however, not just because of the film itself, but because of the raucous crowd, laughing and applauding nearly throughout the film, and the amazing panel that followed, with Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, and Rob Riggle trading jokes with other members of the cast and crew who I'm totally blanking on and feel badly about forgetting.
It also had the best moment of pure overreaction of the festival, when Jonah Hill, clearly giddy from the crowd reaction to a project he had clearly been putting together for a long, long time, burst out, nearly in tears: "No matter what else fucking happens, we'll always have tonight!" to a full auditorium of over 2,000 moviegoers.
#9 The One Panel I Went To
Normally at film festivals, I am all about panels, almost at the expense of the films themselves. Not this time: I only made it into one panel all festival, but it was a particularly good one. (I'm not counting the presentation on new online stock markets that I sat through merely because the fully stocked open bar wouldn't serve drinks until they stopped talking...gin and tonics are so much better when they come from top shelf liquor, don't you agree?)
The panel I *DID* enjoy was one with higher ups from a variety of mid range independent film studios, including the folks behind Drive, Blue Valentine, and Machete. (Or, as the Machete guy put it, the 'Goss' panel). Given that my eventual goal is to make/produce films at that level of production, I found every insight on making the budget vs. payoff of those films work completely fascinating, whether it was how to convince top level stars to take the pay shave or the ins and outs of marketing Henry Winkler to Romania. Ok, this is all about business stuff, and I can already tell you're bored. Let's move on.
#8 The Interactive Trade Floor
I didn't see much of the interactive fest, but the parts I did see I approved of. The highlight was the actual trade floor, where hundreds of hopeful future googles and twitters and netflixes set up booths and plied their hip new websites and services. I can't wait to unsubscribe to all these new services, but in the meantime, it was impressive to see so many awesome ideas in one place. A few that particularly stood out: Squarespace, who will soon be hosting this blog, and a service whose name I forget that allows you to set up any film screening at any theatre if you can get the attendance to 'tip', a la groupon or kickstarter (which, at least 45 people in indiegogo shirts informed me over the course of the week, is a totally inferior service).
#7 March Madness
It was easy to forget in the midst of the madness, the rest of the country was having their own breed of madness: the type that takes place in March as well. In any year, this would be worthy of a mention, but this particular year, my alma mater Michigan State happened to be dominating life. After winning the Big Ten tournament and securing a one seed, the Green and White took care of business, reached the Sweet Sixteen, and got Dre-Dre a second NCAA tourney triple double, a feat only the Big O and another Spartan great, Magic Johnson, have accomplished. Oh, and I almost got into a bar fight in the Third Base bathroom with a guy who was loudly exclaiming Tom Izzo didn't know how to coach. In hindsight, I'm glad that didn't happen because he was at least sixty pounds heavier than me and had a knife tattooed on his forearm, but some things just won't stand.
Oh, and Michigan lost to a #13 seed, which was fucking awesome too.
#6 The Tent by the Paramount
I forget who hosted this amazing extravaganza (so I suppose from their perspective, it failed), but I owe them about $75 dollars for the free beer, ice cream, 100th anniversary oreos, massages, mac&cheese, music, and hammocks they provided me between screenings. If I ever remember their name, I'll at least hop on their website a couple of times. It all balances out, right? (close runners up for this category: the Bing tent, with its open bar, foozeball tables, and free kimchi tacos, and the British Music Embassy, with its also open bar, and lamb and whitefish buffet line, with kick ass bands to boot).
#5 Mumford and Sons + Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros with Big East Express screening
The line for this wrapped around the law center twice, zig zagged through the lawn, and took about forty five minutes to pass through, but it was totally worth it. The tableau: to our left, UT stadium. To our right, a giant inflatable screen showing Big Easy Express, the crazy cross country train tour the above bands took that put the entirety of their third accompaniments, Old Crow Medicine Show, into rehab.
And dead center, with the sun setting behind the UT clock tower as the back drop, a giant festival stage where Edward Sharpe, Mumford and Sons, and the one member of Old Crow who could make it traded off on their sets, with guest appearances from each band on each other's sets. At one point, the entire Austin High marching band joined them on stage to play along. It all wrapped up with a combined cover with everyone on stage of Old Crow's Wagon Wheel, with the vocalist reading the lyrics off his iphone while singing.
Perfect.
#4 Raid: Redemption
Without a doubt, both the best action movie I've ever seen and the best film audience I've ever been a part of. Words fail to convey the transcendent glee that this movie created in me. It's simply the best action film since Die Hard. Except no other argument. The premise is simple: a team of cops attempt to fight their way up a 30 story apartment complex to capture the most notorious crime lord in Indonesia. The catch: every apartment is filled with the scum of the world, allowed to live for free in the complex in exchange for one task: defend the crime lord if and when an army of police start marching up the stairwells. And defend they do, in the most insane series of action sequences I've ever seen. The film elicited at least twelve ovations from the audience, culminating in a final martial arts fight scene between what was just about the last three characters left alive in the entire fucking movie, a fight scene that lasted for over six minutes and drew three separate rounds of applause from the blood frenzied crowd.
See this movie. Just do it.
#3 The people in line
A big part of SXSW is standing in line for things. There was a war going on for what the most impressive and absurd line would be, and though I don't know if anything will ever top the line to pick up the badges, which wrapped around the convention center twice and took nearly two hours to clear, the lines for 21 Jump Street (wrapped all the way around the block, doubled back on itself, and extended down a neighboring street, like a totally doomed later level Snake in that old calculator game) and Mumford and Sons (see above) about did it. The side effect of spending so much time standing in lines is networking happens naturally, and I met all sorts of awesome people while waiting to get in. It was totally natural to reach the theatre and grab seats with whoever you had been standing chatting with for the last hour outside. From film buffs to interactive ceos, directors to writers, actors to producers, bloggers to students, the number of awesome conversations and single serving friends I made were too numerous to be counted. Hell, I even met the coproducer of Tree of Life and got some inside deets on Malick's next film. Turns out seeing Pavilion wasn't a complete waste of time after all.
#2 Silent Disco
One of the most novel party concepts I've ever experience. The set up: a few blocks from my house, one of the most truly creative independent living co ops sits completely innocuously behind a wall of sheet metal fences, at the corner of two major crossroads in South Austin, Lamar and Oltorf. Behind these sheet metal walls, which give off the vibe of a down on the luck trailer park hiding from the world, is a giant forest, with stages, tents, and on this particular night, thousands of partygoers. The Enchanted Forest, as it's called, is a really amazing space, and throughout Southby, it combined with Silent Frisco, an operation out of San Fran (where else?) to throw Silent Discos (hah! it's a pun!).
Basically how it works is this: two DJs set up at a stage in the center of the forest. Everyone who comes in gets a pair of wireless headphones, the really nice $200 kind. The headphones can be tuned to either DJ frequency, and glow either green or blue based on what frequency you're listening to. The result is magical (could I say...enchanted?): no matter where you wander to in the forest, you have full control over the music volume. Want to rage to it? Crank it on full. Chill next to the river or watch a performance dance piece at another stage? Turn it down to low. Talk to your friends? Take them off, and the low murmurs of conversation replace the wild party you were at two seconds ago.
The best part: because the party is silent, it never violates noise regulations. In the heart of a commercial and residential district, the Silent Disco raged throughout the forest until the sun came up. No cops, no problems, full volume.
Technology, art, music, and nature: coming together to innovate how you rock out. If that doesn't scream South-by-Soutwest and Austin Motherfucking Texas, I don't know what does.
#1 Opening Night
Throughout all that (and much, much more), nothing still quite matched up to opening night. The wild crowd for Cabin in the Woods, seeing Joss motherfucking Whedon in person, the amazing midnight screening of Girls Against Boys, the best chicks on a rampage movie since Kill Bill, the first of the opening film teasers which were fucking BRILLIANT this year (and chock full of the talented Mr. Zach Anner), and the full anticipation and excitement of the entire week still sitting in front of you like an unwrapped Christmas present: it's a night I'll likely never forget, the opening stanza to a week that crossed the pale. That feeling, leaving work and knowing I wouldn't be back in a cube until, well, today, where I'm writing this for you right now...that feeling is one that can't quite be replicated by anything by the first day of a vacation you've been anticipating for a full on year.
Except, when you live in Austin, Texas, that vacation is a staycation, one that makes you wonder why you'd ever want to leave.
See y'all next year! I'll try to make it to more concerts this time.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the annual HOLYFUCK-a-thon that is SXSW, I'm going to do my best to describe it before plunging into my list of my top 11 highlights from the festival (one per day of craziness + a bonus because I just flat ran out of things to cut).
For 10 days, the sleepy little villa of Austin Texas is utterly overwhelmed by an insane conflagration centered on the infamous Sixth Street but extending in every direction into every bar, movie theatre, convention center, park, and restaurant in the city. Basically, the city throws three enormous festivals simultaneously: a top rate film festival that draws hundreds of Hollywood celebrities and premieres dozens of movies, an interactive business conference/festival that is renowned for debuting twitter three years ago, and what has to be the world's largest music festival, with more than 2,000 official performing acts, most of whom play seven or eight shows over the course of the week.
Did I mention that you can attend virtually everything at the festival for free if you know your way around? And that every event is chock full of free drinks, ranging from Texas's ubiquitous Lone Star to fully stocked open bars? And that half the events double up on the free drinks with buffet lines of free food, ranging from simple fare like tacos and ice cream all the way up to full 5 star buffets?
And did I mention that I took the entire week off from work, secured a film badge, and basically spent every hour of all ten days at the festival?
The highlights follow.
#11 The Intersteller Transmissions Bus
My honorable mention, since I never quite ended up on the bus. It was still a nice reminder of the Austin flavor to the festival. One of my favorite bands in town, Intersteller Transmissions, sets up their band on top of a white bus and drives around the city playing music and inviting anyone who'll fit onto the bus. I never hitched a ride (this time), but they brought a smile to my face every time I saw them drive by.
#10 21 Jump Street
A film that turned out way better than I expected. I saw 20 films over the course of the festival, and most of them could be on the list (and several more will follow. 21 Jump Street stood out, however, not just because of the film itself, but because of the raucous crowd, laughing and applauding nearly throughout the film, and the amazing panel that followed, with Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, and Rob Riggle trading jokes with other members of the cast and crew who I'm totally blanking on and feel badly about forgetting.
It also had the best moment of pure overreaction of the festival, when Jonah Hill, clearly giddy from the crowd reaction to a project he had clearly been putting together for a long, long time, burst out, nearly in tears: "No matter what else fucking happens, we'll always have tonight!" to a full auditorium of over 2,000 moviegoers.
#9 The One Panel I Went To
Normally at film festivals, I am all about panels, almost at the expense of the films themselves. Not this time: I only made it into one panel all festival, but it was a particularly good one. (I'm not counting the presentation on new online stock markets that I sat through merely because the fully stocked open bar wouldn't serve drinks until they stopped talking...gin and tonics are so much better when they come from top shelf liquor, don't you agree?)
The panel I *DID* enjoy was one with higher ups from a variety of mid range independent film studios, including the folks behind Drive, Blue Valentine, and Machete. (Or, as the Machete guy put it, the 'Goss' panel). Given that my eventual goal is to make/produce films at that level of production, I found every insight on making the budget vs. payoff of those films work completely fascinating, whether it was how to convince top level stars to take the pay shave or the ins and outs of marketing Henry Winkler to Romania. Ok, this is all about business stuff, and I can already tell you're bored. Let's move on.
#8 The Interactive Trade Floor
I didn't see much of the interactive fest, but the parts I did see I approved of. The highlight was the actual trade floor, where hundreds of hopeful future googles and twitters and netflixes set up booths and plied their hip new websites and services. I can't wait to unsubscribe to all these new services, but in the meantime, it was impressive to see so many awesome ideas in one place. A few that particularly stood out: Squarespace, who will soon be hosting this blog, and a service whose name I forget that allows you to set up any film screening at any theatre if you can get the attendance to 'tip', a la groupon or kickstarter (which, at least 45 people in indiegogo shirts informed me over the course of the week, is a totally inferior service).
#7 March Madness
It was easy to forget in the midst of the madness, the rest of the country was having their own breed of madness: the type that takes place in March as well. In any year, this would be worthy of a mention, but this particular year, my alma mater Michigan State happened to be dominating life. After winning the Big Ten tournament and securing a one seed, the Green and White took care of business, reached the Sweet Sixteen, and got Dre-Dre a second NCAA tourney triple double, a feat only the Big O and another Spartan great, Magic Johnson, have accomplished. Oh, and I almost got into a bar fight in the Third Base bathroom with a guy who was loudly exclaiming Tom Izzo didn't know how to coach. In hindsight, I'm glad that didn't happen because he was at least sixty pounds heavier than me and had a knife tattooed on his forearm, but some things just won't stand.
Oh, and Michigan lost to a #13 seed, which was fucking awesome too.
#6 The Tent by the Paramount
I forget who hosted this amazing extravaganza (so I suppose from their perspective, it failed), but I owe them about $75 dollars for the free beer, ice cream, 100th anniversary oreos, massages, mac&cheese, music, and hammocks they provided me between screenings. If I ever remember their name, I'll at least hop on their website a couple of times. It all balances out, right? (close runners up for this category: the Bing tent, with its open bar, foozeball tables, and free kimchi tacos, and the British Music Embassy, with its also open bar, and lamb and whitefish buffet line, with kick ass bands to boot).
#5 Mumford and Sons + Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros with Big East Express screening
The line for this wrapped around the law center twice, zig zagged through the lawn, and took about forty five minutes to pass through, but it was totally worth it. The tableau: to our left, UT stadium. To our right, a giant inflatable screen showing Big Easy Express, the crazy cross country train tour the above bands took that put the entirety of their third accompaniments, Old Crow Medicine Show, into rehab.
And dead center, with the sun setting behind the UT clock tower as the back drop, a giant festival stage where Edward Sharpe, Mumford and Sons, and the one member of Old Crow who could make it traded off on their sets, with guest appearances from each band on each other's sets. At one point, the entire Austin High marching band joined them on stage to play along. It all wrapped up with a combined cover with everyone on stage of Old Crow's Wagon Wheel, with the vocalist reading the lyrics off his iphone while singing.
Perfect.
#4 Raid: Redemption
Without a doubt, both the best action movie I've ever seen and the best film audience I've ever been a part of. Words fail to convey the transcendent glee that this movie created in me. It's simply the best action film since Die Hard. Except no other argument. The premise is simple: a team of cops attempt to fight their way up a 30 story apartment complex to capture the most notorious crime lord in Indonesia. The catch: every apartment is filled with the scum of the world, allowed to live for free in the complex in exchange for one task: defend the crime lord if and when an army of police start marching up the stairwells. And defend they do, in the most insane series of action sequences I've ever seen. The film elicited at least twelve ovations from the audience, culminating in a final martial arts fight scene between what was just about the last three characters left alive in the entire fucking movie, a fight scene that lasted for over six minutes and drew three separate rounds of applause from the blood frenzied crowd.
See this movie. Just do it.
#3 The people in line
A big part of SXSW is standing in line for things. There was a war going on for what the most impressive and absurd line would be, and though I don't know if anything will ever top the line to pick up the badges, which wrapped around the convention center twice and took nearly two hours to clear, the lines for 21 Jump Street (wrapped all the way around the block, doubled back on itself, and extended down a neighboring street, like a totally doomed later level Snake in that old calculator game) and Mumford and Sons (see above) about did it. The side effect of spending so much time standing in lines is networking happens naturally, and I met all sorts of awesome people while waiting to get in. It was totally natural to reach the theatre and grab seats with whoever you had been standing chatting with for the last hour outside. From film buffs to interactive ceos, directors to writers, actors to producers, bloggers to students, the number of awesome conversations and single serving friends I made were too numerous to be counted. Hell, I even met the coproducer of Tree of Life and got some inside deets on Malick's next film. Turns out seeing Pavilion wasn't a complete waste of time after all.
#2 Silent Disco
One of the most novel party concepts I've ever experience. The set up: a few blocks from my house, one of the most truly creative independent living co ops sits completely innocuously behind a wall of sheet metal fences, at the corner of two major crossroads in South Austin, Lamar and Oltorf. Behind these sheet metal walls, which give off the vibe of a down on the luck trailer park hiding from the world, is a giant forest, with stages, tents, and on this particular night, thousands of partygoers. The Enchanted Forest, as it's called, is a really amazing space, and throughout Southby, it combined with Silent Frisco, an operation out of San Fran (where else?) to throw Silent Discos (hah! it's a pun!).
Basically how it works is this: two DJs set up at a stage in the center of the forest. Everyone who comes in gets a pair of wireless headphones, the really nice $200 kind. The headphones can be tuned to either DJ frequency, and glow either green or blue based on what frequency you're listening to. The result is magical (could I say...enchanted?): no matter where you wander to in the forest, you have full control over the music volume. Want to rage to it? Crank it on full. Chill next to the river or watch a performance dance piece at another stage? Turn it down to low. Talk to your friends? Take them off, and the low murmurs of conversation replace the wild party you were at two seconds ago.
The best part: because the party is silent, it never violates noise regulations. In the heart of a commercial and residential district, the Silent Disco raged throughout the forest until the sun came up. No cops, no problems, full volume.
Technology, art, music, and nature: coming together to innovate how you rock out. If that doesn't scream South-by-Soutwest and Austin Motherfucking Texas, I don't know what does.
#1 Opening Night
Throughout all that (and much, much more), nothing still quite matched up to opening night. The wild crowd for Cabin in the Woods, seeing Joss motherfucking Whedon in person, the amazing midnight screening of Girls Against Boys, the best chicks on a rampage movie since Kill Bill, the first of the opening film teasers which were fucking BRILLIANT this year (and chock full of the talented Mr. Zach Anner), and the full anticipation and excitement of the entire week still sitting in front of you like an unwrapped Christmas present: it's a night I'll likely never forget, the opening stanza to a week that crossed the pale. That feeling, leaving work and knowing I wouldn't be back in a cube until, well, today, where I'm writing this for you right now...that feeling is one that can't quite be replicated by anything by the first day of a vacation you've been anticipating for a full on year.
Except, when you live in Austin, Texas, that vacation is a staycation, one that makes you wonder why you'd ever want to leave.
See y'all next year! I'll try to make it to more concerts this time.
Monday, March 5, 2012
The Wire Grantland Bracket
Wait, so Grantland is doing a Wire tournament?
Hell yes, I'm going to make a full set of predictions!
West Baltimore Bracket
Key players: Omar, Snoop, D'Angelo, Micheal
Dead in the water: Ziggy, Cheese
Winner: Omar (going away)
Most Interesting Matchup: Michael vs. Snoop
We'll start with the least interesting bracket and just get it out of the way quickly. This bracket is basically where they threw everybody who was going to lose to Omar anyway. It feels like an inevitable showdown between Omar and Snoop, but Michael might have something to say about that, just as he did in the show. The Chris/Cutty matchup might be interesting, but only in the sense of finding out whose going to be ground down by the inevitable coronation of Omar.
The Ports
Key Players: Avon, Carcetti, Bunny, Prop Joe
Dead in the Water: Prezbo *tear*, Malatov, Duke, Sobotka
Winner: Avon
Most Interesting Matchup: Avon vs. Carcetti
From the most clear cut to the murkiest. The Ports feels very much in play, if only because it's filled from top to bottom with some of the least compelling characters in their respective seedlines. Nothing against Avon, Prop Joe, and Bunny, but they don't hold up to East Baltimore's power trio of Stringer, Marlo, and Bodie. That being said, even with the weakness at the top, I don't see a lot of upsets because the lower seeds are similarly uninspired. The top four seeds will win in the first round, and once the second round begins, anything can really happen. I'm curious to see if Carcetti can take down Avon, but I imagine Avon will hold on by a healthy margin. As for who'll emerge from the bottom, Prop Joe or Bunny, it's a coin toss. I love both characters, but neither has a lot of clout in the overall roster of the show. At the end of the day, I expect Avon to survive a narrow battle with Carcetti and a somewhat comfortable win over Prop Joe. But nothing here would surprise me.
East Baltimore
Key Players: Stringer, Freamon, Bodie, Marlo, Kima
Dead in the Water: Rawls, Wee-Bey, Herc
Winner: Stringer
Most Interesting Matchups: Stringer vs. Lester, Kima vs Marlo, the championship
This bracket is DEEP. There are five candidates who wouldn't be shocking to see in the title game, and at least three who could win the whole bracket. We all know Stringer Bell is the prohibitive favorite, but there are a lot of giant killers lurking. Lester Freamon has a very passionate fan base, and the Marlo vs Kima matchup should be ferocious. My money's on Kima and Stringer ekeing past Lester, but who knows? And who could have expected we could see Marlo Stanfield, whose name is his name, go down in Round One?
In the end, I think Kima will be no match for Stringer in the championship, but you can never count out the sentimental favorite.
Hamsterdam
Key Players: Bunk, Brother, Wallace, McNulty, Daniels, Davis, Bubbles
Dead in the water: Levy
Eventual Winner: Fuck if I know
Key matchups: All of them
And we get to the brawl. Seven of the eight characters in this bracket are among my absolute favorites in the show, and it's going to be an utter massacre paring them down to just one. First off, who puts McNulty as a 3 seed? What other show in American history could you put the supposed lead that low in a bracket?
This bracket demands a full breakdown.
Bunk vs. Brother
Ok, obvious Bunk's going to win this. But still. Couldn't you see Brother knocking off Avon? Or Davis? Or Prop Joe? The most cartoonish character on the show, sure, but one of the most fun ones.
Davis vs Bubbles
There's no way Bubbles doesn't spring the upset here. How did he end up a 7 seed? Part of what makes this bracket so fun is the insane seeding. Still, before we watch Bubbles beg, borrow, and steal his way through the bracket, let's give a shout out to our favorite slimey politican, Mr. Sheeeeeee-it himself.
McNulty vs Daniels
My heart goes out to you, Lieutenant Daniels. I've come to terms with the fact that my high esteem for Daniels isn't shared by many other Wire viewers, but in my own personal bracket, this matchup is the most heartbreaking first round decision. I'd go Daniels; the world will side McNulty.
Wallace vs Levy
Wallace has this wrapped up; Levy is pretty clearly the weakest character in the bracket. We have to give Wallace at least one sentimental win before Bunk crushes him in the second round.
Bunk vs Wallace
See previous.
Bubbles vs McNulty
I don't even....how do you? I'm going Bubbles here, and I think America will too. His speech at the end....onions man. Fucking onions.
Bunk vs Bubbles
I'm sticking with my main man, Bubbles. He was really the guy I found myself experiencing the show through and pulling for episode after episode, season after season. When he cleaned himself up, it was the most rewarding payoff I've ever experience in television. I know Bunk is more fun, but Bubbles is Bubbles man!
The Final Four:
Omar, Avon, Stringer, Bubbles. Couldn't ask for more. Bubbles's run ends as most do, at the behest of Omar's shotgun, and Stringer finally gets the best of Avon. But at the end of the day, no one's overcoming Omar, and the haunting bars of The Farmer and the Dell hover over all of Baltimore.
All in the game, yo.
Hell yes, I'm going to make a full set of predictions!
West Baltimore Bracket
Key players: Omar, Snoop, D'Angelo, Micheal
Dead in the water: Ziggy, Cheese
Winner: Omar (going away)
Most Interesting Matchup: Michael vs. Snoop
We'll start with the least interesting bracket and just get it out of the way quickly. This bracket is basically where they threw everybody who was going to lose to Omar anyway. It feels like an inevitable showdown between Omar and Snoop, but Michael might have something to say about that, just as he did in the show. The Chris/Cutty matchup might be interesting, but only in the sense of finding out whose going to be ground down by the inevitable coronation of Omar.
The Ports
Key Players: Avon, Carcetti, Bunny, Prop Joe
Dead in the Water: Prezbo *tear*, Malatov, Duke, Sobotka
Winner: Avon
Most Interesting Matchup: Avon vs. Carcetti
From the most clear cut to the murkiest. The Ports feels very much in play, if only because it's filled from top to bottom with some of the least compelling characters in their respective seedlines. Nothing against Avon, Prop Joe, and Bunny, but they don't hold up to East Baltimore's power trio of Stringer, Marlo, and Bodie. That being said, even with the weakness at the top, I don't see a lot of upsets because the lower seeds are similarly uninspired. The top four seeds will win in the first round, and once the second round begins, anything can really happen. I'm curious to see if Carcetti can take down Avon, but I imagine Avon will hold on by a healthy margin. As for who'll emerge from the bottom, Prop Joe or Bunny, it's a coin toss. I love both characters, but neither has a lot of clout in the overall roster of the show. At the end of the day, I expect Avon to survive a narrow battle with Carcetti and a somewhat comfortable win over Prop Joe. But nothing here would surprise me.
East Baltimore
Key Players: Stringer, Freamon, Bodie, Marlo, Kima
Dead in the Water: Rawls, Wee-Bey, Herc
Winner: Stringer
Most Interesting Matchups: Stringer vs. Lester, Kima vs Marlo, the championship
This bracket is DEEP. There are five candidates who wouldn't be shocking to see in the title game, and at least three who could win the whole bracket. We all know Stringer Bell is the prohibitive favorite, but there are a lot of giant killers lurking. Lester Freamon has a very passionate fan base, and the Marlo vs Kima matchup should be ferocious. My money's on Kima and Stringer ekeing past Lester, but who knows? And who could have expected we could see Marlo Stanfield, whose name is his name, go down in Round One?
In the end, I think Kima will be no match for Stringer in the championship, but you can never count out the sentimental favorite.
Hamsterdam
Key Players: Bunk, Brother, Wallace, McNulty, Daniels, Davis, Bubbles
Dead in the water: Levy
Eventual Winner: Fuck if I know
Key matchups: All of them
And we get to the brawl. Seven of the eight characters in this bracket are among my absolute favorites in the show, and it's going to be an utter massacre paring them down to just one. First off, who puts McNulty as a 3 seed? What other show in American history could you put the supposed lead that low in a bracket?
This bracket demands a full breakdown.
Bunk vs. Brother
Ok, obvious Bunk's going to win this. But still. Couldn't you see Brother knocking off Avon? Or Davis? Or Prop Joe? The most cartoonish character on the show, sure, but one of the most fun ones.
Davis vs Bubbles
There's no way Bubbles doesn't spring the upset here. How did he end up a 7 seed? Part of what makes this bracket so fun is the insane seeding. Still, before we watch Bubbles beg, borrow, and steal his way through the bracket, let's give a shout out to our favorite slimey politican, Mr. Sheeeeeee-it himself.
McNulty vs Daniels
My heart goes out to you, Lieutenant Daniels. I've come to terms with the fact that my high esteem for Daniels isn't shared by many other Wire viewers, but in my own personal bracket, this matchup is the most heartbreaking first round decision. I'd go Daniels; the world will side McNulty.
Wallace vs Levy
Wallace has this wrapped up; Levy is pretty clearly the weakest character in the bracket. We have to give Wallace at least one sentimental win before Bunk crushes him in the second round.
Bunk vs Wallace
See previous.
Bubbles vs McNulty
I don't even....how do you? I'm going Bubbles here, and I think America will too. His speech at the end....onions man. Fucking onions.
Bunk vs Bubbles
I'm sticking with my main man, Bubbles. He was really the guy I found myself experiencing the show through and pulling for episode after episode, season after season. When he cleaned himself up, it was the most rewarding payoff I've ever experience in television. I know Bunk is more fun, but Bubbles is Bubbles man!
The Final Four:
Omar, Avon, Stringer, Bubbles. Couldn't ask for more. Bubbles's run ends as most do, at the behest of Omar's shotgun, and Stringer finally gets the best of Avon. But at the end of the day, no one's overcoming Omar, and the haunting bars of The Farmer and the Dell hover over all of Baltimore.
All in the game, yo.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Free Association Futureism
I need to write a new blog post. I thought I'd start with some free association thoughts and reflections on the random things I think will happen.
Why should you care what I think? Well, you probably shouldn't. But I do pretty well at this futurism shit. I predicted the economic crash, the housing bubble, Obama's quick approval collapse followed by his slow climb up the ladder, the Nintendo Wii's early dominance, and at one point, six consecutive NCAA national champions.
Of course, I also predicted Rick Perry would dominate the Republican debates. So...
Onto my predictions!
1. If things continue on their current trajectory, Romney will eke it out over Santorum, and Obama will eke it out over Romney.
2. Alternatively, Paul or another media figurine could decide that both parties are weak going into this election and stake a third party bid. If this happens, the elections are going to get messy quickly. This is probably the only way the election result becomes unpredictable, so it will probably happen.
3. Israel and Iran will continue their staring contest, but the next major global brouhaha will come from Pakistan and India. And it'll be the messiest international crisis since the Cold War ended.
4. Peak oil will happen and temporarily destroy the economy...but we'll rebuild it faster than people think. While the US is overreliant on oil, we also waste so much that we could conceivably cut consumption by a fifty percent without even affecting our lifestyle. For example, everyone who owns an SUV could go buy a more fuel efficient car, we could cut the nonstop orgy of business travel, we could stop buying products from halfway around the world and start buying local out of sheer necessity, etc.
5. In fact, peak oil in the long run may *help* the US economy by forcing people to go spend money on more fuel efficient living and buy local products. While this will devastate standard of living in the short term, it'll get people working again in a hurry to facilitate the transition.
6. The next scientific revolution will be biological. We've learned more about biology than anything else over the last ten years, and some of what we've discovered is enormous: the ability to map the genetic code quickly, full activity maps of the human brain (less than ten years ago, high school science taught us we'd *never* know how the brain worked).
7. We'll learn how to 'code' in genetics. DNA comes in two sets of allele pairs that contain the code for every living thing that exists. In a way, this is like 1s and 0s, the backbone of everything we use for computing. Computer science, then, will become a very simple port to biological systems.
8. As we learn how to 'program' in genetic code and better design and build biological structures, bio solutions will rapidly begin to replace manufactured solutions. This will become even more true as oil prices make it more difficult to move physical material around.
9. The energy crisis will be solved when scientists crack the code for photosynthesis. While solar panels have major efficiency limitations, plants seem pretty damn good at converting solar energy to more useful types. And solar has to be the ultimate winner in the renewable war: there's literally an unlimited supply of it (though, as with all other unlimited resources we've had as a species, we'll find a way to use it all eventually).
10. We'll soon be able to grow things that we need more efficiently than manufacture them. By combining genetic code from the millions of sources of life we have, we'll be able to make virtually every product we use today, and improved versions of many of them.
11. While this will start in 'eco-factories', eventually the technology will become portable, and the entire idea of shipping products will fall by the wayside. Instead, our products will be transported as seeds that contain the code for the products we need. Without the shipping and manufacturing costs, these seeds will become virtually free. Industry will, of course, attempt to put a price on them and control their distribution, but hackers and bootleggers will distribute them regardless, like torrents.
12. We'll make the jump to being able to modify our own genetic code as well. While this will have huge medical benefits, it will also be coopted to support enormous genetic modification industries, like plastic surgery and tattoo artists today. Some will use the genetic modifications to achieve a model standard of beauty (like plastic surgery), while others will use it to reject this standard and differentiate themselves from the mainstream crowd (like tattoos and ear gauges).
13. As we get more and more proficient, the types of modifications will become more and more extreme. What starts as skin pigmentation or eye and hair color change will become more and more exotic: horns, scales, fur become available modifications for the counter culture.
14. We'll learn to map the brain and become very knowledgeable in how different parts of the brain create different parts of our reality. Once we know how it works naturally, we'll be able to manipulate it as well. We'll learn to 'adjust' our own experience of the world.
15. This can be as simple as putting a 'skin' over it (like the way you can adapt your computer desktop's visual settings) or as complex as generating a virtual reality that we can escape to and experience as if it were real.
16. We'll use this to create both awesome video games and a new, intensely addictive type of drugs. Some people will spend their entire lives in either type of world, the way a WoW addict lives his life in his bedroom's virtual world or the way a drug addict lives entirely in his drug induced world, slowly modifying his body more and more until outsiders can barely recognize his humanity.
17. We'll also learn how to interface between our virtual, computer worlds and our biological worlds. We'll learn how to download the entirety of wikipedia to our memory banks. We'll be able to 'visit' Minecraft and walk around it as if we were actually there. We'll be able to text and tweet our thoughts directly from brain to brain without the computer interface. In this way, a human hive mind will be created.
18. As these changes evolve, the physical world will gradually become less and less important to more and more people.
19. A few traditionalists will insist on living entirely in the physical world and rejecting the new lifestyle. Nobody under 30 will understand them. Everybody over 30 will envy them.
20. As we learn to communicate directly brain to brain, we'll learn to distribute our art through thought waves as well. Initially, this will be free. But as always, record and film studios will become upset that they're missing out on a profit, and insist that unauthorized mind to mind transfers of copywrited material is a crime. They'll attempt to draft legislation that allows them to sue and jail people for unauthorized thoughts.
21. As always, everybody will ignore these laws and share anyway.
22. Terrorist attacks will become less focused on the physical form and more on this biological hive mind. They'll attempt to create viruses that infect people through their thoughts. An enormous security and defense industry will grow to protect against these types of viruses. Doomsday literature and anxiety will grow about these type of attacks, as they would be literal mutual assured destruction.
23. Just as with nuclear attacks, the suicidal nature of this type of attack will prevent it from happening. The worrying and angst over the possibility will cause more harm to humanity than the threat itself.
24. As we begin to manipulate perception, we'll also begin to manipulate perception of time. We'll be able to grow our experience of nanoseconds out as if they were full minutes or hours or years. As we find ourselves able to do that, we'll also be able to program inhabitable mental environments that take place in 'nanotime'. In this way, humanity will obtain a type of immortality: we'll live whole lifetimes in the seconds between our physical blinks.
25. Many will choose to die regardless.
26. We'll still spend the vast majority of our time thinking about cats in adorable poses.
If you're still reading, damn. Thanks for jumping down this rabbit hole with me. Will it come true? Who knows?
If nothing else, this is a pretty good fucking setup for a kick ass sci-fi novel.
Why should you care what I think? Well, you probably shouldn't. But I do pretty well at this futurism shit. I predicted the economic crash, the housing bubble, Obama's quick approval collapse followed by his slow climb up the ladder, the Nintendo Wii's early dominance, and at one point, six consecutive NCAA national champions.
Of course, I also predicted Rick Perry would dominate the Republican debates. So...
Onto my predictions!
1. If things continue on their current trajectory, Romney will eke it out over Santorum, and Obama will eke it out over Romney.
2. Alternatively, Paul or another media figurine could decide that both parties are weak going into this election and stake a third party bid. If this happens, the elections are going to get messy quickly. This is probably the only way the election result becomes unpredictable, so it will probably happen.
3. Israel and Iran will continue their staring contest, but the next major global brouhaha will come from Pakistan and India. And it'll be the messiest international crisis since the Cold War ended.
4. Peak oil will happen and temporarily destroy the economy...but we'll rebuild it faster than people think. While the US is overreliant on oil, we also waste so much that we could conceivably cut consumption by a fifty percent without even affecting our lifestyle. For example, everyone who owns an SUV could go buy a more fuel efficient car, we could cut the nonstop orgy of business travel, we could stop buying products from halfway around the world and start buying local out of sheer necessity, etc.
5. In fact, peak oil in the long run may *help* the US economy by forcing people to go spend money on more fuel efficient living and buy local products. While this will devastate standard of living in the short term, it'll get people working again in a hurry to facilitate the transition.
6. The next scientific revolution will be biological. We've learned more about biology than anything else over the last ten years, and some of what we've discovered is enormous: the ability to map the genetic code quickly, full activity maps of the human brain (less than ten years ago, high school science taught us we'd *never* know how the brain worked).
7. We'll learn how to 'code' in genetics. DNA comes in two sets of allele pairs that contain the code for every living thing that exists. In a way, this is like 1s and 0s, the backbone of everything we use for computing. Computer science, then, will become a very simple port to biological systems.
8. As we learn how to 'program' in genetic code and better design and build biological structures, bio solutions will rapidly begin to replace manufactured solutions. This will become even more true as oil prices make it more difficult to move physical material around.
9. The energy crisis will be solved when scientists crack the code for photosynthesis. While solar panels have major efficiency limitations, plants seem pretty damn good at converting solar energy to more useful types. And solar has to be the ultimate winner in the renewable war: there's literally an unlimited supply of it (though, as with all other unlimited resources we've had as a species, we'll find a way to use it all eventually).
10. We'll soon be able to grow things that we need more efficiently than manufacture them. By combining genetic code from the millions of sources of life we have, we'll be able to make virtually every product we use today, and improved versions of many of them.
11. While this will start in 'eco-factories', eventually the technology will become portable, and the entire idea of shipping products will fall by the wayside. Instead, our products will be transported as seeds that contain the code for the products we need. Without the shipping and manufacturing costs, these seeds will become virtually free. Industry will, of course, attempt to put a price on them and control their distribution, but hackers and bootleggers will distribute them regardless, like torrents.
12. We'll make the jump to being able to modify our own genetic code as well. While this will have huge medical benefits, it will also be coopted to support enormous genetic modification industries, like plastic surgery and tattoo artists today. Some will use the genetic modifications to achieve a model standard of beauty (like plastic surgery), while others will use it to reject this standard and differentiate themselves from the mainstream crowd (like tattoos and ear gauges).
13. As we get more and more proficient, the types of modifications will become more and more extreme. What starts as skin pigmentation or eye and hair color change will become more and more exotic: horns, scales, fur become available modifications for the counter culture.
14. We'll learn to map the brain and become very knowledgeable in how different parts of the brain create different parts of our reality. Once we know how it works naturally, we'll be able to manipulate it as well. We'll learn to 'adjust' our own experience of the world.
15. This can be as simple as putting a 'skin' over it (like the way you can adapt your computer desktop's visual settings) or as complex as generating a virtual reality that we can escape to and experience as if it were real.
16. We'll use this to create both awesome video games and a new, intensely addictive type of drugs. Some people will spend their entire lives in either type of world, the way a WoW addict lives his life in his bedroom's virtual world or the way a drug addict lives entirely in his drug induced world, slowly modifying his body more and more until outsiders can barely recognize his humanity.
17. We'll also learn how to interface between our virtual, computer worlds and our biological worlds. We'll learn how to download the entirety of wikipedia to our memory banks. We'll be able to 'visit' Minecraft and walk around it as if we were actually there. We'll be able to text and tweet our thoughts directly from brain to brain without the computer interface. In this way, a human hive mind will be created.
18. As these changes evolve, the physical world will gradually become less and less important to more and more people.
19. A few traditionalists will insist on living entirely in the physical world and rejecting the new lifestyle. Nobody under 30 will understand them. Everybody over 30 will envy them.
20. As we learn to communicate directly brain to brain, we'll learn to distribute our art through thought waves as well. Initially, this will be free. But as always, record and film studios will become upset that they're missing out on a profit, and insist that unauthorized mind to mind transfers of copywrited material is a crime. They'll attempt to draft legislation that allows them to sue and jail people for unauthorized thoughts.
21. As always, everybody will ignore these laws and share anyway.
22. Terrorist attacks will become less focused on the physical form and more on this biological hive mind. They'll attempt to create viruses that infect people through their thoughts. An enormous security and defense industry will grow to protect against these types of viruses. Doomsday literature and anxiety will grow about these type of attacks, as they would be literal mutual assured destruction.
23. Just as with nuclear attacks, the suicidal nature of this type of attack will prevent it from happening. The worrying and angst over the possibility will cause more harm to humanity than the threat itself.
24. As we begin to manipulate perception, we'll also begin to manipulate perception of time. We'll be able to grow our experience of nanoseconds out as if they were full minutes or hours or years. As we find ourselves able to do that, we'll also be able to program inhabitable mental environments that take place in 'nanotime'. In this way, humanity will obtain a type of immortality: we'll live whole lifetimes in the seconds between our physical blinks.
25. Many will choose to die regardless.
26. We'll still spend the vast majority of our time thinking about cats in adorable poses.
If you're still reading, damn. Thanks for jumping down this rabbit hole with me. Will it come true? Who knows?
If nothing else, this is a pretty good fucking setup for a kick ass sci-fi novel.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Best Picture Predictions
Soundtrack provided by Wick-it the Instigator
Best Picture
The Artist
The Descendants
The Help
War Horse
Moneyball
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Midnight in Paris
Tree of Life
Hugo
So everything else has been snarky, but I feel like I've snarked each of these films as much as possible. Plus, the Oscars are actually coming up for realsies, so I want to do an actual break down of these films.
First, a caveat: I haven't seen The Descendants, The Help, War Horse, Moneyball, or Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. From all accounts, they are: beautiful, cloying, surprising, and exploitative, respectively. Of those, I feel bad about not seeing the Descendants. The Help and War Horse I'm fairly apathetic towards. Moneyball I feel like I should be apathetic towards, but I've heard enough good things to spark my curiosity. Extremely Loud I want to see for the same reason I slow down to look at a car accident on the side of the road. I know I shouldn't, but it's just too damn fascinating.
So let's count down the films I've seen.
Midnight in Paris
This was probably the most delightful film of the year. I walked out of the theater beaming, and every 1920s sequence was pitch perfect. Hemmingway was probably my favorite supporting character of the year. I'm not a 1920s aficionado nor a Francophile, but MiP made me think I could become both.
Ultimately, it's a bit light to outpull the other films on this list, but I don't know if I had a more uplifting experience in theaters this year.
Hugo
The Oscars went all in on 1920s Paris this year. Actually, all four of the best picture nominees that I've seen are nostalgia fests. In fact, the only films that take place in the modern world this year seem to involve the apocalypse (Melancholia, Take Shelter, Another Earth). America needs to cheer up, I think.
Nothing explains the existence of Kung Fu Panda 2 better than Hugo's box office returns, and I don't want to listen to anyone talk about how Hollywood has no original ideas ever again. A visual masterpiece, with a rich tapestry of interwoven stories and characters, amazing adventures, deep inner and outer conflict, and even a wonderful bit of cinematic history, I don't know how much more a single film can pack into a train station.
For a while I even considered Hugo for my favorite film of the year, though it did end up sinking a bit down the list when all was said and done.
The Artist
The Artist was my favorite 'accessible' film of the year and likely the Best Picture winner in the real world this year. I put quote around accessible, b/c how accessible really is a black and white silent film?
Well, it turns out very; I didn't know exactly what to expect when I went into The Artist, but crowdpleaser was certainly not high on the list. But what a crowd pleaser it was! I'm going to find it hard talking about this film without gushing; it was absolutely masterful in its execution, and Dujardin and Bejo oozed more charisma and zest in their performances than any film I've seen in years.
We've had far too much nostalgia here: time to get bitter.
Tree of Life
Ok, so I have to preface this by acknowledging that Tree of Life has no chance.
I know that, you know that, the Academy knows that, Terence Malick and Brad Pitt knows that. That being said, it's the only film on this list that will have long term staying power in cinematic history. It was a tour de force, the most ambitious vision I've seen attempted since Synechdoce, New York, and the most emotionally raw, honest, hyper charged film I've seen in a long, long time.
The degree of difficulty here can't be understated. Yes, The Artist had to sell a black and white silent film to a modern audience, but at least it's couched in a traditional narrative structure. Tree of Life is a philosophical riddle wrapped in a pastiche of disconnected scenes with nothing but the audience's imagination and work ethic to hold them together. It's demanding, mercurial, and maddening, willing to drop the story for 20 minutes to show a visually stunning montage of planets forming and dinosaurs. The story, btw, is set in 1950s rural Texas. This is not an easy leap for audiences to make.
At the end of the day, are there some flaws? Sure. I don't care. Nothing this year was even playing on the same field as Tree of Life in cinematic ambition and panache, and it is and will likely remain my favorite film from 2011.
Now, that being said, there's no fucking way Oscar will agree, so I'll settle for a well deserved nomination and cheer The Artist on.
Now on Sunday, when Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close wins, I'm going to print all of these posts out and set them on fire.
Best Picture
The Artist
The Descendants
The Help
War Horse
Moneyball
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Midnight in Paris
Tree of Life
Hugo
So everything else has been snarky, but I feel like I've snarked each of these films as much as possible. Plus, the Oscars are actually coming up for realsies, so I want to do an actual break down of these films.
First, a caveat: I haven't seen The Descendants, The Help, War Horse, Moneyball, or Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. From all accounts, they are: beautiful, cloying, surprising, and exploitative, respectively. Of those, I feel bad about not seeing the Descendants. The Help and War Horse I'm fairly apathetic towards. Moneyball I feel like I should be apathetic towards, but I've heard enough good things to spark my curiosity. Extremely Loud I want to see for the same reason I slow down to look at a car accident on the side of the road. I know I shouldn't, but it's just too damn fascinating.
So let's count down the films I've seen.
Midnight in Paris
This was probably the most delightful film of the year. I walked out of the theater beaming, and every 1920s sequence was pitch perfect. Hemmingway was probably my favorite supporting character of the year. I'm not a 1920s aficionado nor a Francophile, but MiP made me think I could become both.
Ultimately, it's a bit light to outpull the other films on this list, but I don't know if I had a more uplifting experience in theaters this year.
Hugo
The Oscars went all in on 1920s Paris this year. Actually, all four of the best picture nominees that I've seen are nostalgia fests. In fact, the only films that take place in the modern world this year seem to involve the apocalypse (Melancholia, Take Shelter, Another Earth). America needs to cheer up, I think.
Nothing explains the existence of Kung Fu Panda 2 better than Hugo's box office returns, and I don't want to listen to anyone talk about how Hollywood has no original ideas ever again. A visual masterpiece, with a rich tapestry of interwoven stories and characters, amazing adventures, deep inner and outer conflict, and even a wonderful bit of cinematic history, I don't know how much more a single film can pack into a train station.
For a while I even considered Hugo for my favorite film of the year, though it did end up sinking a bit down the list when all was said and done.
The Artist
The Artist was my favorite 'accessible' film of the year and likely the Best Picture winner in the real world this year. I put quote around accessible, b/c how accessible really is a black and white silent film?
Well, it turns out very; I didn't know exactly what to expect when I went into The Artist, but crowdpleaser was certainly not high on the list. But what a crowd pleaser it was! I'm going to find it hard talking about this film without gushing; it was absolutely masterful in its execution, and Dujardin and Bejo oozed more charisma and zest in their performances than any film I've seen in years.
We've had far too much nostalgia here: time to get bitter.
Tree of Life
Ok, so I have to preface this by acknowledging that Tree of Life has no chance.
I know that, you know that, the Academy knows that, Terence Malick and Brad Pitt knows that. That being said, it's the only film on this list that will have long term staying power in cinematic history. It was a tour de force, the most ambitious vision I've seen attempted since Synechdoce, New York, and the most emotionally raw, honest, hyper charged film I've seen in a long, long time.
The degree of difficulty here can't be understated. Yes, The Artist had to sell a black and white silent film to a modern audience, but at least it's couched in a traditional narrative structure. Tree of Life is a philosophical riddle wrapped in a pastiche of disconnected scenes with nothing but the audience's imagination and work ethic to hold them together. It's demanding, mercurial, and maddening, willing to drop the story for 20 minutes to show a visually stunning montage of planets forming and dinosaurs. The story, btw, is set in 1950s rural Texas. This is not an easy leap for audiences to make.
At the end of the day, are there some flaws? Sure. I don't care. Nothing this year was even playing on the same field as Tree of Life in cinematic ambition and panache, and it is and will likely remain my favorite film from 2011.
Now, that being said, there's no fucking way Oscar will agree, so I'll settle for a well deserved nomination and cheer The Artist on.
Now on Sunday, when Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close wins, I'm going to print all of these posts out and set them on fire.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Oscars: The Stunning Conclusion
So I've let this dangle almost long enough for the Oscars to actually happen. Let's close it out with more arbitrary goodness, shall we?
Beats Antique is providing the soundtrack.
Directing
The Descendants
The Artist
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Tree of Life
Directing Oscars almost always are tied directly to the Best Picture nominees: it normally goes without saying that Best Picture will win Best Director as well. Well, I think that's bullshit. To say that the direction of a film and the overall quality of the film are exactly mirrored is to discount the contributions of literally thousands of other craftsmen. It's to suggest the writer, actors, editors, craftsmen, and producers contributed literally nothing to making the film happen.
I think that's bullshit. Yes, the director is ultimately responsible to pull all those disparate elements together into a coherent vision, but some films have legitimately more ingredients to work with than others.
I haven't seen The Descendants, but I imagine making George Clooney in Hawaii look good doesn't demand the absolute best from the film head, and anyway, I don't think anyone's suggesting this is Payne's best film.
Midnight in Paris is delightful, but Woody Allen is renowned for his minimalist directing style, and his films are made in the screenplay and acting performances, not in the somewhat workmanlike interpretation he brings to the screen (there, I said it).
Hugo is a masterpiece, and I'm tempted to give it to Scorsese for the excellent use of 3D alone. But this is a story that does not demand the absolute peak out of a director: Disney could have slapped this together, and it would have still been enjoyable, if not nearly as magical, as Scorsese's interpretation.
Tree of Life is a tour de force in some ways, but fundamentally flawed in others. No one but Malick could have brought this story to screen, and the force of his personality shines through. But this is for both better and worse; just ask Sean Penn (plus, who wins an Oscar without Sean Penn's blessing? Nobody; that's who!)
No, this category has to go to Michel Hazah!-navicius for The Artist: simply the most ambitious, risky, and flawlessly executed film of the year. Not only does it take balls to sell a silent film in the 21st century, it takes serious execution: a bad moment on screen, one poorly formulated concept or idea, and the whole spectacle falls apart into silly camp or, worse, pretentious bullshit. I went into this film expecting a cute gimmick and a nostalgia-fest; instead, I got one of the most masterfully executed visions I've seen this decade. This was an extraordinarily difficult film to sell, to create, to execute, and to perfect, and at no point does it even become a question.
There really was no contest here; Hazanavicius takes this category, and it wasn't close.
Actress in a Supporting Role
Berenice Bejo in The Artist
Jessica Chastain in The Help
Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer in Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer in the Help
Whew. That last category got serious. Fortunately, I’ve only seen one of these films, so I can be much more snarky here. In fact, I’m disqualifying the one I did see; Berenice Bejo did was more than support that film, and her placement here is unfair to the rest. Most reasonable heads seem to agree Jessica Chastain’s performance in The Help was her fourth best of THE YEAR, so that’s just nonsense to see her here. Janet McTeer is clearly in the wrong category; she’s obviously playing a man in this film. So we’re down to Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer, and hell. This is the Academy. You know they’re playing the race card.
Octavia Spencer it is.
Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh in My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill in Moneyball
Nick Nolte in Warrior
Christopher Plummer in Beginners
Max von Sydow in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
I’m just going to go ahead and say the last three split the old man vote (granted, a substantial Academy demographic) three ways and knocks them all out. So this comes down to Kenneth Branagh and Jonah Hill. I didn’t see either of these movies, so I’m going to quote my firend Tristan’s reaction to this.
“Maybe the dog. He’s certainly better than Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill. Oscar Nominees. Sign of the Apocalypse.”
Sounds like a ringing endorsement to me! Plus, he put on all that weight for the role. Academy loves physical commitment to the performance.
Best Actress
Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis in The Help
Rooney Mara in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams in My Week With Marilyn
Did anyone but the Academy see Albert Nobbs? Jesus, I’m running out of snarky cross dressing jokes. Let’s see…what else do we have here? Meryl Streep…yawn. Viola Davis, no we’ve made our affirmative action hire already. Michelle Williams. *swoon* Still, none of this holds up to Rooney Mara, if for no other reason than I never imagined we’d have an Oscar nominated performance that revolved heavily around a dildo rape scene. Sorry Michelle. If you had just convinced the biographer to put in a section about Marilyn Monroe tying down JFK in the Lincoln bedroom and tattooing “I’M A RAPIST” across his chest, I’d have been all over it. Plus, history class would have been more interesting. Double points.
Actor in a Leading Role
Demian Bichir in A Better Life
George Clooney in The Descendants
Jean Dujardin in The Artist
Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt in Moneyball
Funny to see Dujardin here. I didn’t remember him having any memorable lines. Clooney and Pitt have to split the heart throb vote here. Oldman or Bichir? As usual, I haven’t seen either of these films. IMDB tells me Bichir played Castro in Che. Communist. This is America!
Gary Oldman wins with the patriotism vote…for his role as an Englishman. And I guess he’s English too. So…I don’t know, don’t ask questions. AMERICA!
I know I said this was the last one, but I’m tired of snark. Tune in next week for the final Best Picture reveal, in which I find witty things to say about all 4,381 nominations.
Beats Antique is providing the soundtrack.
Directing
The Descendants
The Artist
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Tree of Life
Directing Oscars almost always are tied directly to the Best Picture nominees: it normally goes without saying that Best Picture will win Best Director as well. Well, I think that's bullshit. To say that the direction of a film and the overall quality of the film are exactly mirrored is to discount the contributions of literally thousands of other craftsmen. It's to suggest the writer, actors, editors, craftsmen, and producers contributed literally nothing to making the film happen.
I think that's bullshit. Yes, the director is ultimately responsible to pull all those disparate elements together into a coherent vision, but some films have legitimately more ingredients to work with than others.
I haven't seen The Descendants, but I imagine making George Clooney in Hawaii look good doesn't demand the absolute best from the film head, and anyway, I don't think anyone's suggesting this is Payne's best film.
Midnight in Paris is delightful, but Woody Allen is renowned for his minimalist directing style, and his films are made in the screenplay and acting performances, not in the somewhat workmanlike interpretation he brings to the screen (there, I said it).
Hugo is a masterpiece, and I'm tempted to give it to Scorsese for the excellent use of 3D alone. But this is a story that does not demand the absolute peak out of a director: Disney could have slapped this together, and it would have still been enjoyable, if not nearly as magical, as Scorsese's interpretation.
Tree of Life is a tour de force in some ways, but fundamentally flawed in others. No one but Malick could have brought this story to screen, and the force of his personality shines through. But this is for both better and worse; just ask Sean Penn (plus, who wins an Oscar without Sean Penn's blessing? Nobody; that's who!)
No, this category has to go to Michel Hazah!-navicius for The Artist: simply the most ambitious, risky, and flawlessly executed film of the year. Not only does it take balls to sell a silent film in the 21st century, it takes serious execution: a bad moment on screen, one poorly formulated concept or idea, and the whole spectacle falls apart into silly camp or, worse, pretentious bullshit. I went into this film expecting a cute gimmick and a nostalgia-fest; instead, I got one of the most masterfully executed visions I've seen this decade. This was an extraordinarily difficult film to sell, to create, to execute, and to perfect, and at no point does it even become a question.
There really was no contest here; Hazanavicius takes this category, and it wasn't close.
Actress in a Supporting Role
Berenice Bejo in The Artist
Jessica Chastain in The Help
Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer in Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer in the Help
Whew. That last category got serious. Fortunately, I’ve only seen one of these films, so I can be much more snarky here. In fact, I’m disqualifying the one I did see; Berenice Bejo did was more than support that film, and her placement here is unfair to the rest. Most reasonable heads seem to agree Jessica Chastain’s performance in The Help was her fourth best of THE YEAR, so that’s just nonsense to see her here. Janet McTeer is clearly in the wrong category; she’s obviously playing a man in this film. So we’re down to Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer, and hell. This is the Academy. You know they’re playing the race card.
Octavia Spencer it is.
Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh in My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill in Moneyball
Nick Nolte in Warrior
Christopher Plummer in Beginners
Max von Sydow in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
I’m just going to go ahead and say the last three split the old man vote (granted, a substantial Academy demographic) three ways and knocks them all out. So this comes down to Kenneth Branagh and Jonah Hill. I didn’t see either of these movies, so I’m going to quote my firend Tristan’s reaction to this.
“Maybe the dog. He’s certainly better than Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill. Oscar Nominees. Sign of the Apocalypse.”
Sounds like a ringing endorsement to me! Plus, he put on all that weight for the role. Academy loves physical commitment to the performance.
Best Actress
Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis in The Help
Rooney Mara in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams in My Week With Marilyn
Did anyone but the Academy see Albert Nobbs? Jesus, I’m running out of snarky cross dressing jokes. Let’s see…what else do we have here? Meryl Streep…yawn. Viola Davis, no we’ve made our affirmative action hire already. Michelle Williams. *swoon* Still, none of this holds up to Rooney Mara, if for no other reason than I never imagined we’d have an Oscar nominated performance that revolved heavily around a dildo rape scene. Sorry Michelle. If you had just convinced the biographer to put in a section about Marilyn Monroe tying down JFK in the Lincoln bedroom and tattooing “I’M A RAPIST” across his chest, I’d have been all over it. Plus, history class would have been more interesting. Double points.
Actor in a Leading Role
Demian Bichir in A Better Life
George Clooney in The Descendants
Jean Dujardin in The Artist
Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt in Moneyball
Funny to see Dujardin here. I didn’t remember him having any memorable lines. Clooney and Pitt have to split the heart throb vote here. Oldman or Bichir? As usual, I haven’t seen either of these films. IMDB tells me Bichir played Castro in Che. Communist. This is America!
Gary Oldman wins with the patriotism vote…for his role as an Englishman. And I guess he’s English too. So…I don’t know, don’t ask questions. AMERICA!
I know I said this was the last one, but I’m tired of snark. Tune in next week for the final Best Picture reveal, in which I find witty things to say about all 4,381 nominations.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Waking Life
As I imagine anyone pretentious enough to start a blog (which is to say, everyone) feels, I spend much of my time contemplating the nature of what is real.
After all, why write if you don't have a thought on reality? Some writers wouldn't put it in quite those terms, but whether you're writing about cooking or cars or Socretes or finance, you are facing something expressible, something that you perceive not only as real, but in some way primary to your existence. Something that in the confused primordial sea of what we see and feel and hear and smell and taste on a daily basis that strikes us as somewhat MORE REAL than the rest; if not, what about that particular topic arrests us out of the literally millions of sensations demanding our attention?
I read a fascinating fact the other day: every minute, 8 hours of video is uploaded to youtube alone. Every day, eight years are added. It is literally impossible to watch everything: you would need 480 screens streaming simultaneously and updating to the newest content instantly to keep up. If nothing else tells us how much our reality is entirely designed of our own choosing, by what we SELECT to perceive, and more importantly, what we elect to ignore, this fact, the literal kaleidoscoping of time, drives the unfathomiblity of the universe into us like a spike into our frontal lobe.
Eleven years ago, Waking Life, in its own wandering, dreamlike way, gave us the most beautiful elucidation of our weird reality we could ask for. And, driving home the futility in trying to keep up, it has taken me eleven years to catch up and give it the viewing it deserved. This is unacceptable; I've watched The Secret and What the Fuck Do We Know, two films that attempt to sell this philosophy and reality paradigm shamelessly and blatantly, in this time. Where Waking Life ruminates and sheds light and asks questions, those films preach, paradoxically attempting to sell their concrete vision of reality that is based off the impossibility of certainty. And yet, somehow, those made it on my viewing queue before Waking Life. One of the characters in this film tells us "the message here is that we should never simply write ourselves off or see each other as a victim of various forces. It's always our decision who we are." And in the spirit of this, I accept responsibility for making the choice to define my reality as one that includes The Secret and doesn't include Waking Life.
Until now. And in honor of this beautiful film, I present my favorite quotes from perhaps my favorite existential pondering.
****
****
They say that dreams are only real as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?
The trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. Because if you can do that, you can do anything.
Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored. This is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive. And things are just starting.
The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving.
It's bad enough that you sell your waking life for minimum wage, but now they get your dreams for free.
As the pattern gets more intricate and subtle, being swept along is no longer enough.
This is where I think language came from. It came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another.
A single ego is an absurdly narrow vantage from which to view this experience. And where most consider their individual relationship to the universe, I contemplate relationships of my various selves to one another.
The function of the media has never been to eliminate the evils of the world, no. Their job is to persuade us to accept those evils and get used to living with them.
There are two kinds of sufferers in this world: those who suffer from a lack of life and those who suffer from an overabundance of life.
I'm closer to the end of my life than I've ever been, I actually feel more than ever that I have all the time in the world.
The funny thing is our cells are completely regenerating every seven years. We've already become completely different people several times over, and yet we always remains quintessentially ourselves.
We are the authors of ourselves, coauthoring a giant Dostoyevsky novel starring clowns.
Lady Gregory turns to me and says, "Let me explain to you the nature of the universe. Now, Philip K Dick is right about time, but he's wrong that it's 50 AD. Actually, there's only one instant, and it's right now. And it's eternity. And it's an instant in which God is posing a question. And that question is, basically, do you want to, you know, be one with eternity? Do you want to be in heaven? And we're all saying, No, thank you. Not just yet."
If you can wake up, you should...because someday you won't be able to. So just, um-- But it's easy. Just--just...
Wake up.
After all, why write if you don't have a thought on reality? Some writers wouldn't put it in quite those terms, but whether you're writing about cooking or cars or Socretes or finance, you are facing something expressible, something that you perceive not only as real, but in some way primary to your existence. Something that in the confused primordial sea of what we see and feel and hear and smell and taste on a daily basis that strikes us as somewhat MORE REAL than the rest; if not, what about that particular topic arrests us out of the literally millions of sensations demanding our attention?
I read a fascinating fact the other day: every minute, 8 hours of video is uploaded to youtube alone. Every day, eight years are added. It is literally impossible to watch everything: you would need 480 screens streaming simultaneously and updating to the newest content instantly to keep up. If nothing else tells us how much our reality is entirely designed of our own choosing, by what we SELECT to perceive, and more importantly, what we elect to ignore, this fact, the literal kaleidoscoping of time, drives the unfathomiblity of the universe into us like a spike into our frontal lobe.
Eleven years ago, Waking Life, in its own wandering, dreamlike way, gave us the most beautiful elucidation of our weird reality we could ask for. And, driving home the futility in trying to keep up, it has taken me eleven years to catch up and give it the viewing it deserved. This is unacceptable; I've watched The Secret and What the Fuck Do We Know, two films that attempt to sell this philosophy and reality paradigm shamelessly and blatantly, in this time. Where Waking Life ruminates and sheds light and asks questions, those films preach, paradoxically attempting to sell their concrete vision of reality that is based off the impossibility of certainty. And yet, somehow, those made it on my viewing queue before Waking Life. One of the characters in this film tells us "the message here is that we should never simply write ourselves off or see each other as a victim of various forces. It's always our decision who we are." And in the spirit of this, I accept responsibility for making the choice to define my reality as one that includes The Secret and doesn't include Waking Life.
Until now. And in honor of this beautiful film, I present my favorite quotes from perhaps my favorite existential pondering.
****
****
They say that dreams are only real as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?
The trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. Because if you can do that, you can do anything.
Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored. This is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive. And things are just starting.
The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving.
It's bad enough that you sell your waking life for minimum wage, but now they get your dreams for free.
As the pattern gets more intricate and subtle, being swept along is no longer enough.
This is where I think language came from. It came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another.
A single ego is an absurdly narrow vantage from which to view this experience. And where most consider their individual relationship to the universe, I contemplate relationships of my various selves to one another.
The function of the media has never been to eliminate the evils of the world, no. Their job is to persuade us to accept those evils and get used to living with them.
There are two kinds of sufferers in this world: those who suffer from a lack of life and those who suffer from an overabundance of life.
I'm closer to the end of my life than I've ever been, I actually feel more than ever that I have all the time in the world.
The funny thing is our cells are completely regenerating every seven years. We've already become completely different people several times over, and yet we always remains quintessentially ourselves.
We are the authors of ourselves, coauthoring a giant Dostoyevsky novel starring clowns.
Lady Gregory turns to me and says, "Let me explain to you the nature of the universe. Now, Philip K Dick is right about time, but he's wrong that it's 50 AD. Actually, there's only one instant, and it's right now. And it's eternity. And it's an instant in which God is posing a question. And that question is, basically, do you want to, you know, be one with eternity? Do you want to be in heaven? And we're all saying, No, thank you. Not just yet."
If you can wake up, you should...because someday you won't be able to. So just, um-- But it's easy. Just--just...
Wake up.
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