Monday, March 5, 2012

The Wire Grantland Bracket

Wait, so Grantland is doing a Wire tournament?

Hell yes, I'm going to make a full set of predictions!

West Baltimore Bracket

Key players: Omar, Snoop, D'Angelo, Micheal

Dead in the water: Ziggy, Cheese

Winner: Omar (going away)

Most Interesting Matchup: Michael vs. Snoop

We'll start with the least interesting bracket and just get it out of the way quickly. This bracket is basically where they threw everybody who was going to lose to Omar anyway. It feels like an inevitable showdown between Omar and Snoop, but Michael might have something to say about that, just as he did in the show. The Chris/Cutty matchup might be interesting, but only in the sense of finding out whose going to be ground down by the inevitable coronation of Omar.

The Ports

Key Players: Avon, Carcetti, Bunny, Prop Joe

Dead in the Water: Prezbo *tear*, Malatov, Duke, Sobotka

Winner: Avon

Most Interesting Matchup: Avon vs. Carcetti

From the most clear cut to the murkiest. The Ports feels very much in play, if only because it's filled from top to bottom with some of the least compelling characters in their respective seedlines. Nothing against Avon, Prop Joe, and Bunny, but they don't hold up to East Baltimore's power trio of Stringer, Marlo, and Bodie. That being said, even with the weakness at the top, I don't see a lot of upsets because the lower seeds are similarly uninspired. The top four seeds will win in the first round, and once the second round begins, anything can really happen. I'm curious to see if Carcetti can take down Avon, but I imagine Avon will hold on by a healthy margin. As for who'll emerge from the bottom, Prop Joe or Bunny, it's a coin toss. I love both characters, but neither has a lot of clout in the overall roster of the show. At the end of the day, I expect Avon to survive a narrow battle with Carcetti and a somewhat comfortable win over Prop Joe. But nothing here would surprise me.

East Baltimore

Key Players: Stringer, Freamon, Bodie, Marlo, Kima

Dead in the Water: Rawls, Wee-Bey, Herc

Winner: Stringer

Most Interesting Matchups: Stringer vs. Lester, Kima vs Marlo, the championship

This bracket is DEEP. There are five candidates who wouldn't be shocking to see in the title game, and at least three who could win the whole bracket. We all know Stringer Bell is the prohibitive favorite, but there are a lot of giant killers lurking. Lester Freamon has a very passionate fan base, and the Marlo vs Kima matchup should be ferocious. My money's on Kima and Stringer ekeing past Lester, but who knows? And who could have expected we could see Marlo Stanfield, whose name is his name, go down in Round One?

In the end, I think Kima will be no match for Stringer in the championship, but you can never count out the sentimental favorite.

Hamsterdam

Key Players: Bunk, Brother, Wallace, McNulty, Daniels, Davis, Bubbles

Dead in the water: Levy

Eventual Winner: Fuck if I know

Key matchups: All of them

And we get to the brawl. Seven of the eight characters in this bracket are among my absolute favorites in the show, and it's going to be an utter massacre paring them down to just one. First off, who puts McNulty as a 3 seed? What other show in American history could you put the supposed lead that low in a bracket?

This bracket demands a full breakdown.

Bunk vs. Brother

Ok, obvious Bunk's going to win this. But still. Couldn't you see Brother knocking off Avon? Or Davis? Or Prop Joe? The most cartoonish character on the show, sure, but one of the most fun ones.

Davis vs Bubbles

There's no way Bubbles doesn't spring the upset here. How did he end up a 7 seed? Part of what makes this bracket so fun is the insane seeding. Still, before we watch Bubbles beg, borrow, and steal his way through the bracket, let's give a shout out to our favorite slimey politican, Mr. Sheeeeeee-it himself.

McNulty vs Daniels

My heart goes out to you, Lieutenant Daniels. I've come to terms with the fact that my high esteem for Daniels isn't shared by many other Wire viewers, but in my own personal bracket, this matchup is the most heartbreaking first round decision. I'd go Daniels; the world will side McNulty.

Wallace vs Levy

Wallace has this wrapped up; Levy is pretty clearly the weakest character in the bracket. We have to give Wallace at least one sentimental win before Bunk crushes him in the second round.

Bunk vs Wallace

See previous.

Bubbles vs McNulty

I don't even....how do you? I'm going Bubbles here, and I think America will too. His speech at the end....onions man. Fucking onions.

Bunk vs Bubbles

I'm sticking with my main man, Bubbles. He was really the guy I found myself experiencing the show through and pulling for episode after episode, season after season. When he cleaned himself up, it was the most rewarding payoff I've ever experience in television. I know Bunk is more fun, but Bubbles is Bubbles man!

The Final Four:

Omar, Avon, Stringer, Bubbles. Couldn't ask for more. Bubbles's run ends as most do, at the behest of Omar's shotgun, and Stringer finally gets the best of Avon. But at the end of the day, no one's overcoming Omar, and the haunting bars of The Farmer and the Dell hover over all of Baltimore.

All in the game, yo.

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